Back to the regularly scheduled tedium

I'm thankful that I was able to finish NaNoWriMo this year, and even more thankful that it got done with it before the 30th.

November is a notoriously difficult month for me mentally.  I usually have to use every ounce of  my strength to make it through this month without a mental breakdown.  I had some spare braincells this year, somehow.  Let me explain:

Item number one that comes up in November is spring registration.  That's enough said if you've been reading my blog for a while.  These buggers I work with can be so taxing on my mental health that I usually go home and fall straight into bed.  This month was different, for some reason the students were quieter.... it's almost eerie!

Item number two, of course, is NaNoWriMo.  I start off at full speed, but usually putter our about the time registration starts, but again, that was quiet, so I'm sure that contributed to my successful run at writing this year!

Item number three plagues most of us US writers: Thanksgiving.  The notorious food fest that renders you useless for an entire weekend.  Not so for me this year!  With Weight Watchers' tools under my belt I went in, ate smart and ended up losing 1.2 lbs over thanksgiving weekend.  I am SO proud of myself!  Along with Thanksgiving comes Black Friday which then kills my Friday for writing, because I get up at the crack of dawn and shop 'til I can't no more!  Then I go home and sleep.  (I was useless on Friday, I will admit).

Item number four is what gets me every year (for the past three anyway):  The 30th.  This one day kills my entire November and December.  It's the day, back in 2007, that my sister passed away.  Every year, right before Thanksgiving I start getting immensely depressed.  To the point where I can't move.  That on top of everything else going on in November makes me just quit, every year.  I start reliving my trip to Texas to say goodbye to my sister who I hadn't seen in nearly 10 years.  I still don't know if she knew who I was.  I remember how I should have been excited that week, and been celebrating for passing my Comprehensive Exam (the final step to receive my master's degree), but I had to cancel my party, which was planned on the 30th.  My degree is bitter-sweet now.  I never did get a chance to really celebrate or feel those feelings of elation when you accomplish something SO big.

I think that's what has made these past six months so great for me.  I have finally accomplished something BIG in my life.  I do so with my sister in my heart, guiding me, motivating me.  I ran the 5K for her and truly this novel is for her.  I had to make a choice this year: I couldn't let her death control my November any more, or my life for that matter, I had to move on, she would want that.

So please permit me a final note to my sister:  I miss you, Dawn.  I'm sad that so much time and distance passed between us.  I know that we can't change the past; what's done is done.  I know that you loved me, even if you didn't say so, or if you didn't call or write to tell me, Fred told me so when we came to say goodbye.  I appreciate that.  I really do.  I know that you're still watching out for me, and for all of us.  I have felt your presence this year, pushing me to become more, to strive harder, to fight for what I want.  Thank you, it was just the kick in the pants I needed. xo

And so, now I continue on this journey toward a new Kathy that I started nearly six months ago.  I will continue to eat right, I will start running again, I will crochet harder, I will finish my NaNovel.  Who knows what else will come out of my self-transformation.  I would never have guessed on this day last year that I would be sitting here writing such a victorious blog entry.  I'm excited to see what the next year will bring!