Getting home is hard to do

You know those horrible nightmares we all have where you're stuck in some situation and can't get out of it? Mine is always my childhood self riding the bus home from school, when the bus stops at my house I can't move until the driver starts to pull away, then he stops, and I'm stuck again, this goes on until I finally wake myself up.

My point is that I had one of those frustrating days yesterday where I just couldn't seem to make it home. The cosmos was teaming up to prevent me from relaxing on the couch! It started out that I had to stay late at work to deliver a survey to a late class. That delayed my departure a half hour. I then had to make an emergency trip to Costco after realizing that I had no stockpile of breakfasts or lunches. I get off the freeway, and am no farther than a block, when the railroad crossing arms start coming down. Naturally the extremely long train was slowing down to a crawl, so that a second (and thankfully not so long) train could pass in the opposite direction. This took another 15 minutes. I finally pull into Costco, proceed to gather my few groceries and inevitably get into the line where the checker is moving so slow he could be unscanning the items!

My time in line was made even better by a child of no more than 4 standing in the cart next to me screaming her head off. The parents were just staring at said child with their mouths hanging open. I prayed to God to give me strength and not commit a justifiable homicide. Upon reaching the checker (10 minutes later), I notice a to do coming from the line where the kid is. A few looks of disgust from the Costco checkers, and the puddle coming from under the kiddo, told me that she had just sat down in the cart and peed herself. The parents were standing by looking not the least bit embarrassed.

Only one of two scenarios could have caused this situation: 1) the kid had been screaming her head off because she had to pee, yet the parents refused to take her to the restroom and told her to hold it; or 2) the kid threw a temper tantrum and decided to show them all by peeing herself. Either way, I'm disgusted.

I ran to my car, anxious to get away. Once I get home, I'm pulling the junk out of the trunk (sorry, just had to do that! :) ) and drop a heavy container of Lean Pockets (the Costco sized 12 pack) on my pinky toe. I stifled an urge to scream an expletive and limp up the stairs.

I found, after starting down for my next trip, that I heard a familiar bird call.....coming from none other than....The Birds (cue Psycho music). The Birds and I have had a hate-hate relationship since I was around 12. The Birds are actually cliff swallows who invade every spring. They build their nests out of mud in the eves of any structure they can find. They particularly enjoyed our home, and they loved attacking us as we ran from the garage to the back door to safety. So I have come to despise these birds.

Well, they've now moved into my apartment complex, and I'm considering making my exit as quickly as possible. I don't need to be hassled any more than necessary when I get home!