Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Actually Agnostic or Slightly Spiritual?

There are moments in my life where my skeptical agnostic side battles with the dreamer spiritual side of myself (normal balance on those is 80%/20% respectively). Sometimes, though, it’s eerie how things “work out.” How, just when I’m starting to feel despair, a light suddenly shines so bright that I have to stop and question “maybe there is divine intervention” or “do I have a guardian angel?”

I’ve had pivotal moments where I’ve been so distraught that I really wondered if there was a way out of my circumstances (be it money-related, work-related, family-related). I don’t pray, I’m not the spiritual sort in that way. I’m a worrier, which (to be honest) I suppose is a type of prayer. Not healthy by any stretch of the imagination.

I don’t lay awake at night and say “God, do your will.” Nope, I fret over every minutiae, go over every scenario, in the shower, on the road, while watching TV, while I’m trying to sleep. I become obsessed with whatever it is, I snap at loved ones, lose sleep, and plot and scheme to remedy the situation – but rarely ever act on my plotting.

Rather, I am paralyzed with fear. “What if…” becomes my mantra, which prevents me from making any positive steps. This is why when things change, and the light shines through, this is why I question my questioning of a higher power. I’ve done nothing (and I mean nothing) to take action. Something just gets dumped on my lap, “here you go” the universe says with an exasperated sigh “now will you stop whining?!” 

Truthfully I’m not actually whining, let’s give an example: gas prices impact my life in a gigantic way – I drive more than 100 miles each and every weekday, so even a 10 cent jump in prices can put a serious dent in my finances by the end of the month. One such month, after maxing out all of my credit cards, asking for gas money from my parents, and Other Half, and being too ashamed to ask for more, I started looking for jobs closer to home. What’s the point in having my amazing job, when I can’t even afford to get there and get paid? Then the announcement came: a new person has been hired, and they’re driving from my town and need someone to carpool with! Viola! Problem solved – nothing I did made this happen, it just did. Makes me question my beliefs!

The weird thing is: this happens on a regular basis. I get truly desperate, and poof, a solution falls from the sky that is so easy to act upon, and such a “duh” sort of decision, that I don’t think, I just graciously accept my good luck. The odd thing is, I usually believe that I’m not worthy of this good luck. Surly the universe will yank this blessing back into the ether as some sort of cosmic joke. It doesn’t, though, and I’m left staring dumbstruck at how I could be so lucky.

Coincidence or divine intervention? I don’t know, but I’m thankful each and every day for the things and people that have been thrust into my life in this way!

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

2014 Here I Come

Long time no see! Sorry I've been off blogging lately. I'll explain why below:

I've begun a new journey in my life. I'm going to be frank: I've been down in the dumps since about 2012. Some wire in my brain came loose and I just lost track of me. I was a zombie; just eating, sleeping, and working. Absolutely no motivation; so I gained weight, half-assedly continued running, and really just didn't like myself very much - aside from knitting I really was not my usual self.

I struggled during the tail end of 2013 about what to do for me because I knew I couldn't go on like this. How could I rediscover my motivation that was so, so strong in 2010? Where did it go? Why did I let it go?! Ultimately, I need something to be excited about, and the only person who can make that excitement happen again is me. So I took myself by the shoulders, gave myself a good shake and stepped out from the shadows and back into the light of the living. No sense in wallowing in the "couldas" and "wouldas!"

Step one in my transformation was to get some goals in place. Without goals (which follow DAPPS: Dated, Achievable, Personal, Positive, and Specific), you can't really get anywhere in life. I prefer not to call what I'm doing "New Years Resolutions." Because they aren't. I'm not "resoluting" anything to myself. I'm setting goals, which I'm expected to fulfill! I won't get up on my "Resolution" soapbox for now.....but for me, know that it would be setting myself up for failure to term it thusly.

Step two was tracking my goals. This means I have to write them down, and be accountable Every.Single. Day. I had to track in such a way that I wouldn't want to shirk the responsibility. While watching a fellow knitter on her podcast I was inspired as she talked about her own goal tracking. I decided to run with this inspiration and run to Target on New Years Day and gather some nice pens, a cute binder, and some graph paper and come up with my own goal tracking system. I sat down that night and worked up my charts. They're colorful and beautiful and inspire me to look at them every day - and so I do, to be reminded of my goals and how I'm doing! Eight days of doing this so far and I'm still excited about the prospect of opening up my binder to color in my boxes as "complete!"

Step three is "let's get healthy." Since we last spoke a lot has changed. You know that I had lost 30 lbs, ran a 5K, but then I gained back 10 lbs, walked a half marathon, gained another 5 lbs, ran/walked a you can see that my "healthy" life wasn't so healthy. Granted I'd love to lose weight, but honestly, I think that number on the scale has been what's holding me back all these years. If I gain, I get down, and I eat, then I gain again....etc. It's a vicious cycle. I'm breaking it! BAM!

Enter the 21-Day Sugar Detox by Dianne Sanfilippo. I've heard lots about this whole "Paleo" movement, and have been intrigued, but never motivated to actually try it for myself until now. While the Sugar Detox is a more extreme (though temporary) form of Paleo-style eating, for me: the more structured the better. Their Facebook page launched a new group starting just this Monday (Jan. 6), and I decided to embark upon this journey. So far, I've had minimal detox side-effects - I've been a little light headed, but it's nothing a tall, cool glass of water and sunflower seeds can't make subside. If I see improvement in my health at the end of the 21 days, I'm planning to fully embrace Paleo.

The beauty of this detox so far is that I haven't felt hungry! I can make it to the next meal with only a small snack in between. It makes it much easier to continue forward!

Step four is pay off credit card debt. This has been on my mind for some time. I was an idiot in my early 20's, many of us were. I'll just leave it at that. This year I pay off my car, freeing up a sizable chunk of change. I'm going to be employing the "Snowball" method of debt payment, and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel early 2016. I plan on creating a tracking sheet for this as well, upon final payment of my car, and will keep this in my binder, too.

So that's me this year. I'm going to keep blogging updates (not as long as this one, I promise!). I'll see you all around the water cooler!

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Project 365 - Catching up (again)

Skipping all pleasantries, away we go!

Day 32 - Goodies for which to Spin
32.365 goodies for which to spin
Some delicious fiber to spin!

Day 33 - Busted m' Lip
Busted M' Lip 33.365
Hard to see, but there's a bruise on the right side of my lip (in this picture). Let me tell you an amusing story: Wino and I were going gang-busters on a soda sale at CVS. They had Pepsi products for $2.22 for a 12-pack.  Who can resist that, right?! Well genius me decides to be clever when I picked up one of said 12-packs from the cart and smacked the corner of it into my lip.  I was put off soda duty shortly thereafter and discovered when I got into the car that not only was my lip swollen, but it was also bleeding....our friend Punch would have been proud (MMA fighter that he is....).  When we got home, I then proceeded to drop the same soda pack on my foot.  Brilliant!

Day 34 - Quilts
Quilts 34.365
A beautiful quilt made by Pepper's aunt, displayed at Salt and Pepper's house.

Day 35 - Sparkly!
Sparkly! 35.365
I had a rare day to spin and so I started on one of the batts that you saw on Day 32 (above).

Day 36 - Kitty Watching The Puppy Bowl
36.365 Kitty Watching The Puppy Bowl
Margot was quite enthralled by all the puppies horsing around during the Puppy Bowl on Animal Planet.

Day 37 - Nada

Day 38 - First time out in....who knows!!
38.365 First time out in....who knows!!
My picture mojo was off last week, apologies everyone. Wino worked late every single day so my routine was shot and so the pictures were the first thing to be forgotten.
Since Wino was at work, I decided to hang out with a friend at the bar for the evening this night.  Had quite a bit of fun!

Day 39 - Chicken and Dumplings!
39.365 Chicken and Dumplings!
Please gasp at my culinary prowess!  I made me some chicken and dumplings!

Day 40 - zippo

Day 41 - A Cloudy Look Through the Glass
41.365 A Cloudy Look Through the Glass
Luckily for me, I carpool again! This affords me the opportunity to grab great sunset shots like this!

Day 42 - "Velvet Lining" to Spin
42.365 "Velvet Lining" to Spin
My name is Kathy, and I am a fiber-holic. In one week I made 4 fiber purchases....this was #3.

Day 43 - Little Mountains of Goodness
43.365 Little Mountains of Goodness
My tribute to Valentine's day: Red Velvet Cupcakes with a White Russian Cream Cheese frosting.  Yuuuuum!

Day 44 - Zilch

Day 45 - F.S. - Finished Socks!
45.365 F.S. - Finished Socks!
You saw sock one on day 26 as a sock in progress, well here they are both all finished!!!  My first-ever pair of socks!  I rock!

And that gets us caught up to today!

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

A New Format for *365*

Ok, so this posting daily thing is getting hard to manage.  I've decided to go to a once-a-week update of my photos.  It'll make my life easier!

So here's where I left off!

Day 20 - Ready to Run
Ready To Run 20.365

We did not lure him into this position, he did it of his own free will!

Day 21 - After The Rain
After The Rain 21.365

We had a rain storm the evening before, and the clouds with the beautiful blue sky made for a striking picture.

Day 22 - Feelin' Blue
Feelin' Blue 22.365

Got some new blue nail polish from Avon.  Perfect for spring (which is what it feels like 'round these parts).

Day 23 - Sleepy Fella
Sleepy Fella 23.365

Such an angelic face when he's asleep....dude was out cold!

Day 24 - An Evening At Home
An Evening At Home 24.365

Just chillin' like the white wine we were drinkin'

Day 25 - What The?!
What The?! 25.365

Just an artsy shot, because there was nothing else interesting to shoot.

Day 26 - S.I.P. Sock In Progress
S.I.P. - Sock in Progress 26.365

I decided to knit some socks out of my hexipuff yarn...I got really tired of the hexipuffs.  I need some more interesting yarn I guess.

Day 27 - One Of Those Days
One Of Those Days 27.365

I was having "one-of-those-days" on Friday, then to top it off I noticed the heel of my two-month-old boot is busted....

Day 28 - Catching Up
Catching Up 28.365

I spent Saturday lazing about, and catching up on my RSS feeds...specifically my knitting blogs!

I can't believe I forgot to take a picture!  Boo!

Day 30 - Happy Feet
Happy Feet 30.365

I love my pink slippers and K. Bell crazy socks, it's a fun combo.  And no, I did not knit the slippers

Ok we're all caught up folks!  I should be posting every Sunday from here on out.

I realize that I need to do an update on my knitting and my progress to get in shape.  That may come tomorrow.  Until then, tata!

Friday, January 20, 2012

*365* January 19 - Friendly Fields

Friendly Fields 19.365

When I took this shot I like it.  Now that I look at it in the light of day, I don't....  I love the painting though.

One of Wino's friends painted it for him before we ever met.  It now hangs over our bed.  It adds a nice pop of color in our otherwise modern (and monochromatic) bedroom.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

*365* January 18 - A Pen For Every Occasion

A Pen For Every Occasion 18.365

My explanation of this picture directly from my Flickr page:

"I'm a teensy bit OCD when it comes to my writing implements. My co-workers tease me that I have a pen for nearly every task I need to complete in my job. Here's the proof that they're right!

"From left to right: highlighter to indicate signature lines, calendar pen, post-it pen, note-taking pen, editing pen, student-signature pen, my-signature pen, eraser, pencil.

"Yes, in all of that I only have one pencil...absurd, I know."

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

A very late update!

I have some catching up to do!  We took an impromptu vacation this past weekend and I haven't had a chance to post my photos yet.

Day 13 - Oodles of Pins
Oodles of Pins 13.365

My box of pink straight pins.  I love the randomness that pins assume in their natural habitat!

Day 14 - Armida!
Armida!! 14.365

This a surf board in the Armida Winery tasting room (their Capitola location).  Armida produces my favorite wine ever: the Il Campo

Day 15 - By The Candlelight
By The Candlelight 15.365

Taken at Cava Wine Bar in Capitola.  The mood was nice in there and the wine tasty.

Day 16 - Recycle!
Recycle! 16.365

Good ol' Capitola, they're very conscious of their image (not kidding a kid was skateboarding through the village and a cop was passing by and got on their megaphone to tell the kid to stop!).  Really, though, it's a great program with some tasty pizza in return.  If you ever happen by any pizza is good, but the chicken walnut salad is a treat too! I <3 Pizza My Heart

Day 17 - My Baby's Growing Up
My Baby's Growing Up

I bought my car 3 1/2 years ago....brand new.....she and I have together driven 100K miles since then....omg!